dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
