I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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