Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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