Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
