either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
