Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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