I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
