I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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