brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
