do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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