Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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