when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
