What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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