fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
