We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
