just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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