i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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