He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
