I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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