1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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