so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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