hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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