Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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