Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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