I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
