he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
