the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Houston, we have a squirter
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
