you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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