drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
