I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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