dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
