is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
