Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
