You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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