Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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