I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
