He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He has the fingertips of a God
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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