Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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