You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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