So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
