Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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