booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
