nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he puts the penis in happiness.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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