Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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