did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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