you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
