i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
