I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
