found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
