Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
