The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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