"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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